I had an experience the other day where I found myself being defensive and pushing back against something Connie was suggesting.

I don't like that feeling, but it wasn't like I had decided to become defensive. That feeling just came over me as she suggested we get a different camera. I felt like I was being blindsided and reacted.

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It took me a few days, but on reflection I saw what was driving my reaction. And it wasn't the camera. What I saw was that I was interpreting Connie's suggestion to get a different camera as something I had to do for her to be happy, and I wanted to use the camera we had. I felt caught between a rock and a hard place.

In my interpretation of her comment, I created an argument within me for why this was the right camera. And in that argument, I was at odds with what I thought Connie wanted. That created tension in me, resulting in a sense of distance between us. I was set to go to battle with the way things were, which in my mind was Connie wanting one thing and me something different.

Fortunately, because I didn't like the feeling I had when I was thinking about the camera issue in this way, I continued to let go of the defensive thinking I had when it arose. In time, I came to see that what I was defending was my opinion and not the camera. I was caught in wanting to have things my way. I was caught in the "I" thought. The thought that I am the center of the universe and when things don't go my way, they need to change. (That usually doesn't go well.)

I came to see that the tension was being created by my wanting things to be different. I was arguing with reality and trying to change it, thinking that's how I would get rid of the tension I was feeling.

Seeing the tension was being created by trying to protect my opinion , I saw how illusory the whole situation was. I saw it was all in my thinking and that I could resolve the tension by releasing the firm belief that things had to go my way. I just had to let go of the "I" thought. And with that, I began to see the situation through what I refer to as the eyes of love rather than fear.

In that return to love, everything looked different. From that broader perspective, I didn't feel the need to protect anything. I could simply look for the best solution for or camera needs. It's like in coming back to love, I returned to my "right mind". I saw things with a common sense that I don't have when I need things to be my way.

The main takeaway for me in this has been that when I feel tension or distress about something, those feelings can shift when I'm willing to let my mind settle down and return to the deeper wisdom and love that is at my core. When I'm willing to let go of the "I" thought, so many more options are seen. And so much more ease and contentment comes back into my life.

The recipe this week is a Butternut Squash & Leek Stew. We found this to be beyond great. It was over-the-top delicious. Give it a try.

To your Amazing Health,
Connie and Bill

Butternut Squash & Leek Stew (Serves 4)

• 1 Large Butternut squash, peeled and cubed
• 3 leeks, washed and cut in ¼ inch rounds
• 1 red pepper, diced
• 3 carrots, cut in larger pieces
• 1 medium onion, diced
• ¼ cup pumpkin seeds
• 6 cups soup stock, low sodium
• 2 sweet apples, grated
• 1 tablespoon No Salt seasoning
• Ground black pepper to taste
• ½ teaspoon dried sage, crushed well
• ¼ teaspoon dried rosemary

In a large pan, add all ingredients except apples and seasonings and let cook until vegetables are soft, about 30 minutes.

Add apples, herbs, no salt seasoning and ground black pepper.

Return to heat and cook an additional 2 or 3 minutes.

Enjoy.

Options:

• A 28 ounce can or Cannellini beans can be added the last 2 or 3 minutes of cooking.
• Or you can add cashew milk (1 cup filtered water and ½ cup cashews blended on high speed) to give it a creamy taste. You may also enjoy adding ¼ cup shredded coconut as you’re blending the cashew milk to give it a coconut milk taste.
• Another idea is to enjoy the stew just as it is with its whole veggies, and then if you have leftovers add nut milk to give a new taste to the dish when served again.
• Cube 3 potatoes to add at the beginning of cooking to make a heartier stew.
• Or you may want to puree part or all of the stew in your blender or mash it with a potato masher to thicken the stew.